News - subcat

Chang claims Cook had a gutsful of Intel
Published in News
Monday, 02 December 2024 09:34

Chang claims Cook had a gutsful of Intel


Complained to Chang

The supreme pooh bah of the fruity cargo cult Apple Tim Cook didn't mince words when discussing Intel's contract manufacturing division with TSMC founder Dr. Morris Chang (pictured).

Apple wants Trump to protect it from EU bullies
Published in News


Cook calls him to make him promise to protect Apple's lunch money

Former US president Donald Trump claims that Apple CEO Tim Cook called him to get the EU to stop picking on the poor little cargo cult.

Cook demands Bloomberg pull spy story
Published in News
Monday, 22 October 2018 12:57

Cook demands Bloomberg pull spy story


Our security is perfect

Apple CEO Tim Cook has made the rare step of demanding that Bloomberg retract its story alleging that Chinese spies compromised a company server using malicious microchips.

Cook softer than Jobs on porn
Published in News
Friday, 30 March 2018 10:25

Cook softer than Jobs on porn


No problem looking at porn on an iPhone

Apple CEO Tim Cook appears to have changed the company's mind about using an iPhone to look at pornography.

Cook has promised Trump that he will build three big US plants
Published in News


If you believe Trump


Donald (Prince of Orange) Trump claims that Apple CEO Tim Cook has promised him that Apple will build three big new plants in the US.

Apple is not scaling back desktops claims Cook
Published in News
Tuesday, 20 December 2016 12:47

Apple is not scaling back desktops claims Cook


Trying to reassure staff they are super cool and loved after all

Apple’s Steve Ballmer, Tim Cook has been trying to reassure staff that he has not given up on desktop technology.

We're piecing together Cook’s cunning plan
Published in News
Friday, 02 December 2016 13:39

We're piecing together Cook’s cunning plan


What is next for the cargo-cult?


While it is still earning piles of cash, Apple is stuffed unless Tim Cook comes up with a cunning plan to save it.

How Tim Cook stuffed up Apple's tax disaster
Published in News
Friday, 02 September 2016 11:15

How Tim Cook stuffed up Apple's tax disaster


Why he should not have confirmed the EU's case

Corporate historians will look at Tim Cook’s handing of the EU tax case as a moment where he should have shut up and saved both his and other company's billions in tax..

Apple rewards Tim Cook’s lacklustre performance
Published in News


27 percent drop in profits and nothing new coming is worth a bonus

Apple may not have invented anything new for years, be watching its cash cow die with no replacement, but that has not stopped Tim Cook trousering a huge cash bonus this year.

Apple turns to made up products as cash cow gets stuck
Published in Mobiles


Fantasyland

Yesterday Apple had a go at peddling a fantasy to reassure the world that its iPhone cash cow was not on its way out due to mad cow disease.