In the hands of a master

Everyone knows that the iPhone takes superior pictures even to every other mobile phone out there even when an idiot is behind the lens because the Tame Apple Press tells us. So what happens when the Superbowl is recorded on an iPhone by Apple’s supremo – Tim Cook.

Revolving door gatekeeper

While the fruity cargo cult Apple is busy bricking users for the crime of not using its genii to fix its overpriced toys, its reputation as being super secure is taking another battering.

Don’t call it a hump call it a noteable feature

Fruity cargo-cult leader CEO Tim Cook is defending forcing Apple fanboys to buy an ugly Quasimodo case if they want their iPhones to have a half decent battery life.

The “post-pc” era has been good for the PC

Tin-box shifter Michael Dell mocked the prophecy of the Grand mufti of the Apple Cargo cult, Tim Cook who insisted that the PC was on its way out.

Steve Jobs was nice really

Apple is having a huge problem with the image of its dead former CEO Steve Jobs.

From what?

Fruity cargo cult Apple is so terrified that something bad will happen to its leader Tim Cook that it spends nearly $700,000 to protect him. 

Wall Street speaks heresy

A top Wall Street money man Julian Robertson has committed religious heresy against the Apple Cult by claiming that its latest CEO Tim Cook was actually better than its mystical fruity founder Steve Jobs.

We would never spy on our users

Apple CEO Tim Cook has slammed his Silicon Valley chums of selling out their users and customers to the NSA and advertisers.