Might save power but will appear too late anyway

Fruity and nutty cargo cult Apple is apparently investigating the use of E Ink screens on the outside of its much delayed foldable phones.

Tame Apple Press in mourning -- if only our shareholders were the Saudi government 

The Tame Apple press mourned as its favourite company was no longer the world’s most valuable firm.

MP3 player clone is no more

Fruity cargo cult Apple has finally killed off its MP3 music player the iPod after successfully copying five year old technology and getting away with it.

Following FIDO

Apple, Google and Microsoft are supporting a common passwordless sign-in standard created by the FIDO Alliance and the World Wide Web Consortium. The new capability will allow websites and apps to offer consistent, secure, and easy passwordless sign-ins to consumers across devices and platforms.

I bet you thought all the hardware bugs had been invented already

Fruit and nutty Cargo Cult Apple has extended its innovative software bug development to hardware and come up with its own unique flavour of Spectre.

Goodfellow quits because he is a jolly goodfellow

Apple's director of machine learning, Ian Goodfellow, "is leaving the company due to its return to work policy."

Docking disaster 

Apple users who use their iPhone doc are somewhat shocked, presumably pleased, to discover that they have been forced to download the Apple Music iOS app.

Software Genii strike again

Apple’s software genii, who have been unable to wrote code which allows the iPhone to tell the time correctly, have had another breakthrough fixing tracking tags which are being used to stalk people.

Apple Pay in the dock

The EU has charged Apple with breaking EU competition law by abusing its dominant position in mobile payments to limit rivals' access to contactless technology.

Poached two of its engineers

Fruity and nutty cargo-cult Apple claims that a tech start-up Rivos poached two of its engineers and nicked its ideas for system on a chip technology.