Bigger things to worry about

The Tame Apple Press is having to face up to the fact that the coronavirus might have killed off any chance Jobs’ Mob might have had sorting out the declining demand for its iPhone.

It's ours, not yours

All Apple Stores outside of China are closed until further notice due to the ongoing coronavirus pandemic, and it’s preventing some customers from picking up their repaired devices.

So much for the iPhone replacing the PC

Tin box shifter Dell is releasing software which will enable Apple users to finally get control over their shiny toys on a proper machine.

Bought down by Beer

Security researchers at Google have found evidence of a “sustained effort” to hack iPhones for at least two years.

Illegal radiation levels could kill you

The Chicago Tribune recently launched an investigation into the radiofrequency radiation levels and was horrified to discover that some of Apple's iPhones emit radiofrequency radiation that exceeds safety limits.

Never mind locked in batteries, Apple insists they are coded

Apple has tied batteries to specific iPhones, meaning that only it can perform an authorised battery replacement on the newest versions of iPhones, two independent experiments have found.

Apple says it is only obeying orders

Apple said it had “no choice” but to stop using Intel modems in iPhones headed to Germany to comply with a patent infringement lawsuit Qualcomm won against Apple there in December.

Time to cash out of this sinking ship

Several Chinese electronics retailers including Alibaba-backed Suning and JD.com have slashed iPhone prices this week, after they realised that shifting them is nearly impossible at the prices Jobs' Mob wanted.

They are not even using Genius bars

Apple supreme Dalek Tim Cook has found another reason why Apple sales are falling – those evil users are repairing their old phones.

Where no one can afford them

Fruity cargo cult Apple will begin assembling its top end iPhones in India through the local unit of Foxconn as early as 2019.