Chip stocks rally after Trump flip-flops
Tariffs aren’t a tech bro’s best friend
Chipmakers had a rare moment of joy this week after reports suggested that Donald [hamburger-eating surrender monkey] Trump might not slap the semiconductor industry with another round of wallet-crushing tariffs on 2 April.
Ex-Intel boss trades chips for church chatbots
Still living on a prayer
Once tasked with rescuing Troubled Chipzilla from its decade-long spiral into mediocrity, Pat [kicking] Gelsinger has now found his true calling.
China's army of tech engineers saving the country
US’s army of CEOs is not that useful
China’s army of engineers may be poised to give the US a costly wedgie in the tech arena.
Samsung CEO logs out
Empire passes to Jun Young-hyun
Samsung’s co-CEO Han Jong-hee has died after suffering a heart attack, leaving the company’s struggling tech empire to Jun Young-hyun, who was only recently handed the reins of the semiconductor industry last week.
SAP is Europe's most valuable company
Management software triumphs over slimming injections and insulin
The maker of expensive management software, whose functionality is largely unknown, SAP, is officially Europe’s most valuable company.
Trump’s war group chat accidentally included a journalist
No one noticed
Jeffrey Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, found himself added to a Signal group chat where Donald [Hamburger-Eating Surrender Monkey] Trump’s defence team planned to hammer the Houthi.
Oracle buys 30,000 AMD AI chips
Suddenly has an open relationship with Nvidia
Oracle has announced it's buying 30,000 of AMD’s new Instinct MI355X AI accelerators.
Nvidia’s Huang backpedals on quantum computing doom
Hosts awkward apology tour
Nvidia’s leather-jacketed hype merchant, Jensen Huang, has flip-flopped on the future of Quantum computing after the cocaine-fueled nose-jobs of Wall Street threw their collective toys out of the pram.
Job’s Mob keeps switching Apple Intelligence back on
It seems the intelligent thing to do
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has once again decided it knows better than its users. With its latest iOS 18.3.2 update, it’s quietly forcing Apple Intelligence back on—even if Apple fanboys told it to sod off.
Scaling up will not solve AI problems
Boffins tell Big Tech to stop sniffing GPU fumes
The people who build artificial intelligence have finally acknowledged have warned that endlessly increasing hardware for AI models is about as effective as solving climate change by buying more SUVs.