He’s swapped server racks and earnings calls for holy algorithms, taking the reins as executive chairman and head of tech at Gloo, a company that builds AI tools for Christian churches.

Gelsinger’s involvement with Gloo isn’t new. He’s been lurking in the background as a non-executive chairman since 2018, presumably biding his time until Intel’s board decided that career crucifixion was the best punishment for betting billions on fabs that couldn't deliver.

Now he’s all in, helping the Colorado-based outfit build AI-powered tools, such as virtual assistants, for pastors who need help managing their flocks through machine learning.

Gloo, flush with $110 million in growth funding, is chasing the divine in data. It’s already ditched OpenAI’s models in favour of DeepSeek—China’s homegrown LLM—because it’s open-source and plugs in without a fuss. Even church tech startups are fed up with the pricing tactics emerging from Silicon Valley.

But Gelsinger hasn’t abandoned his old habits. On a recent podcast recorded during NVIDIA’s AI pep rally, he couldn’t resist throwing shade at Jensen Huang, accusing him of getting “lucky” with AI and moaning about NVIDIA’s GPUs being overpriced for inferencing workloads. There is no word on whether Gelsinger considers Divine Intervention a better computing strategy.

Still it shows how the church has grown. In my day, it was convinced that barcodes were the mark of the beast.