Film yourself opening Amazon packages
Published in News
Wednesday, 18 January 2023 10:43

Film yourself opening Amazon packages


iPhone buyer got dog food instead

Consumers are being warned to film themselves opening Amazon deliveries after a Salisbury man's £1,300 iPhone was switched for a packet of dog food.

France does not surrender on Apple's advertising
Published in News


Illegally harvesting iPhone owners' data

While the Tame Apple Press applauded Job's Mob's moves to tackle privacy issues from Facebook and other clients, it appears that the French data protection authority, CNIL was less impressed.

Apple jacks up the price of replacement batteries
Published in Mobiles


If you are not going to buy a new phone you must pay us anyway

Fruity cargo cult Apple is so poor after its iPhone cash cow didn't do as well last year, it has been forced to tax users by jacking up the cost of replacement batteries. 

Apple admits it uses Sony image sensors
Published in News
Wednesday, 14 December 2022 11:43

Apple admits it uses Sony image sensors


Just in case that kept you up all night 

Apple traditionally does not say what components it slaps under the bonnet of its iPhone cash cow, so the Tame Apple Press was surprised that its CEO Tim Cook revealed on a trip to Japan that it uses Sony image sensors.

Apple cannibalises watch with its mighty ring
Published in Mobiles
Tuesday, 13 December 2022 10:35

Apple cannibalises watch with its mighty ring


One ring to rule them

Fruity cargo cult Apple has worked out a way to make its watch redundant as a health app by replacing it with a censor ring that relays the data to the iPhone.

SWAT team looking for a stolen iPhone swoops in on retired postal worker
Published in News


Faith in Apple tech wasted cash and risked lives

A Denver detective lead a SWAT team into a retired woman's home to rescue what he believed was a stolen iPhone 11.

Brazil pulls iPhones from store
Published in News
Friday, 25 November 2022 12:01

Brazil pulls iPhones from store


Yes Apple, the law does apply to you

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple was shocked after the Brazilian government enforced a law it democratically voted on and pulled its iPhone’s from stores across the land.

Apple staff revolting over Orwellian advertising moves
Published in News


Ruins the “premium experience”

Staff at the fruity cargo-cult Apple are hacked off at their management’s move to fill the iPhone with advertising.

Apple claims its iPhones in short supply
Published in Mobiles
Monday, 07 November 2022 11:29

Apple claims its iPhones in short supply


Blames the Chinese Covid lockdowns

Fruity cargo cult Apple is insisting that its new iPhones are in short supply, despite cutting back on production because no one was interested in them.

Apple will agree to EU demands to upgrade its iPhone chargers
Published in Mobiles


It has no choice

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has admitted that it has “no choice” but to upgrade the charging ports on its upcoming iPhones to follow an EU directive.