Knows its target market

Software king of the world Microsoft has been doing some research into the needs and wants of Apple fanboys and reached the conclusion that they need a keyboard which can be used one-handed.

Analyst cuts sales by half

An analyst has cut his estimate of projected sales of the rumoured new 4-inch iPhone, reportedly called the "iPhone 5se," in half, from 18-20 million down to 10-12 million units.

Finally wakes up

The Tame Apple Press is starting to report what we have been saying for months, iPhone sales have slumped for the first time in ten years.

Allows fanboys to defect

Search engine outfit Google is offering Apple fanboys a way to get a proper smartwatch without losing the only product that Jobs’ Mob makes – the iPhone.

This quarter will be dire

The price of depending on one product will continue to drag Apple down in the first quarter of 2016.

Apple orders less from suppliers

While the Tame Apple Press is writing yearly reviews which claim that Jobs’ Mob cleaned everyone’s clock this year, it appears that sales of its only remaining “growing” product is slumping.

Wall Street fears iPhone not doing as well as marketed

The Fruity Cargo cult Apple is facing problems with Wall Street analysts who are refusing to repeat what its marketing department is telling them about the iPhone.

The dream is over

For a while now we have been warning that Apple is losing ground in pretty much all its business sectors but now it seems some figures are confirming it.

Because being bigger has already been done

Fruity Cargo Cult Apple thinks that it will steal a march on its competitors by making its iPhone too small for Apple fanboy’s fat pudgy fingers to tap out a message.

Better late than never

Fruity Cargo cult Apple is so desperate for ideas it is trying to update itself using OLED technology from its rival Samsung which is used in most high-end Android smartphones.