Looks like he will be the first under the new Digital Services Act

Elon [look at me] Musk’s social notworking site X has the dubious honour of being the first company targeted for investigation under the new Digital Services Act.

Promises to lobotomise it to stop it from being intelligent

Elon [look at me] Musk was shocked to discover that his AI chatbot Grok was not churning out answers that would please his nutty right-wing target market.

No one wants to be his friend

Elon [look at me] Musk sees a mass exodus of sales staff from his social notworking outfit X.

Has a rant

It appears that Elon [look at me] Musk has been feeling tired and emotional about the number of big-name advertisers leaving his social notworking site.

Two million subscribers 

There's now two million subscribers to SpaceX's Starlink satellite internet service, with CEO Elon [look at me] Musk claiming the service has "achieved breakeven cash flow."

Tests it out on the Kiwis because he does not think they will complain

Elon [look at me] Musk has decided to test out charging users to post on his social notworking site X.

Musk does not talk to mortals

The Securities and Exchange Commission is seeking a court order that would compel Elon [look at me] Musk to testify as part of an investigation into his purchase of Twitter.

Musk summoned to the Capitol

Elon [look at me] Musk has been summoned to the US Capitol to explain how he foiled a Ukrainian attack on Russia by switching off his Space X satellites.

He is not worth it Elon

Elon [look at me] Musk’s mum is asking the interwebs not to encourage her boy to have a cage fight with Meta’s Mark Zuckerberg.

Just as it breaks even

Elon [look at me] Musk is about to face a major challenge as the single thing which has kept it propped up throughout his CEO’s management is about to end.