
Samsung CEO logs out
Empire passes to Jun Young-hyun
Samsung’s co-CEO Han Jong-hee has died after suffering a heart attack, leaving the company’s struggling tech empire to Jun Young-hyun, who was only recently handed the reins of the semiconductor industry last week.

SAP is Europe's most valuable company
Management software triumphs over slimming injections and insulin
The maker of expensive management software, whose functionality is largely unknown, SAP, is officially Europe’s most valuable company.

No one noticed
Jeffrey Goldberg, editor-in-chief of The Atlantic, found himself added to a Signal group chat where Donald [Hamburger-Eating Surrender Monkey] Trump’s defence team planned to hammer the Houthi.

Oracle buys 30,000 AMD AI chips
Suddenly has an open relationship with Nvidia
Oracle has announced it's buying 30,000 of AMD’s new Instinct MI355X AI accelerators.

Nvidia’s Huang backpedals on quantum computing doom
Hosts awkward apology tour
Nvidia’s leather-jacketed hype merchant, Jensen Huang, has flip-flopped on the future of Quantum computing after the cocaine-fueled nose-jobs of Wall Street threw their collective toys out of the pram.