
Job’s Mob keeps switching Apple Intelligence back on
It seems the intelligent thing to do
The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple has once again decided it knows better than its users. With its latest iOS 18.3.2 update, it’s quietly forcing Apple Intelligence back on—even if Apple fanboys told it to sod off.

Apple's elite fanboys admit it is in trouble
Appocalypse now
Job’s Mob is in deep trouble and even its biggest fanboys are starting to smell the rot.

Poor security on Apple banking apps is getting fanboys killed
Three people convicted
Three people have been convicted for being part of a conspiracy to rob and drug people outside of LGBTQ+ nightclubs in Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen neighbourhood, which led to the deaths of two of their victims.

Apple worried about “its” first iPhone p*rn app
Available through third-party app store
Fruity cargo cult Apple and its minions in the Tame Apple Press are telling the EU, “We told you so,” after the first porn app for the iPhone appeared on a third-party website.

Apple’s results worse than expected
iPhone cash cow dying
The Tame Apple Press set itself to spin to save the company after the outfit announced falling iPhone sales.

Intel did not know how to be foundry
Apple told TSMC
Fruity cargo cult Apple chose to cosy up with Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company (TSMC) over Chipzilla for its custom silicon because “Intel didn’t know how to be a foundry.”

iPhone has a new broken alarm feature
Claims to be on it
Members of the Apple fruity cargo cult are incandescent with rage after the alarms on their shiny toys stop working. This means that many of them are sleeping and missing work.

Apple admits its CarPlay 2 is “late”
Has deleted release dates from the CarPlay page
Fruity cargo cult Apple is having trouble getting products out of its flying saucer—this time, its CarPlay "product has been placed on the never-never list.

Apple’s iPhone subscription dreams crash
Bugs and Bureaucracy
Fruity cargo cult Apple has quietly shelved its much-hyped iPhone subscription service, reportedly due to software glitches and regulatory hurdles.

Apple helps Putin censor his people
Takes down VPNs
The fruity cargo cult Apple has been collaborating with Russian strongman Tsar Vlad Putin to keep his people in the dark by censoring VPNs in its App Store.