Appocalypse now

Job’s Mob is in deep trouble and even its biggest fanboys are starting to smell the rot. 

Three people convicted

Three people have been convicted for being part of a conspiracy to rob and drug people outside of LGBTQ+ nightclubs in Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen neighbourhood, which led to the deaths of two of their victims.

Available through third-party app store

Fruity cargo cult Apple and its minions in the Tame Apple Press are telling the EU, “We told you so,” after the first porn app for the iPhone appeared on a third-party website.

iPhone cash cow dying

The Tame Apple Press set itself to spin to save the company after the outfit announced falling iPhone sales.

Apple told TSMC

Fruity cargo cult Apple chose to cosy up with Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Company (TSMC) over Chipzilla for its custom silicon because “Intel didn’t know how to be a foundry.”

Claims to be on it

Members of the Apple fruity cargo cult are incandescent with rage after the alarms on their shiny toys stop working. This means that many of them are sleeping and missing work.  

Has deleted release dates from the CarPlay page

Fruity cargo cult Apple is having trouble getting products out of its flying saucer—this time, its CarPlay "product has been placed on the never-never list.

Bugs and Bureaucracy

Fruity cargo cult  Apple has quietly shelved its much-hyped iPhone subscription service, reportedly due to software glitches and regulatory hurdles.

Takes down VPNs

The fruity cargo cult Apple has been collaborating with Russian strongman Tsar Vlad Putin to keep his people in the dark by censoring VPNs in its App Store.

Encryption and public safety concerns

The FBI has issued an urgent call to iPhone and Android users, urging them to reconsider using popular messaging apps like WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger, and Signal.