Fanboys are complaining

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple’s AI product is proving so bad that even its legion of fanboys are complaining.

Spat out fake news

Reporters without Borders has asked the fruity cargo cult Apple to ditch is dodgy AI after it incorrectly summarised a BBC news notification that suspected UnitedHealthcare CEO shooter Luigi Mangione had killed himself.

Total waste of time

The fruity cargo cult Apple’s self-styled reputation as an innovator is being battered like a Scottish mars bar over its luck-lustre approach to AI.

So much for being at the forefront

While the Tame Apple Press claims that the fruity cargo cult is at the bleeding edge of AI with its late and lacklustre Apple Intelligence, the reality can be seen in the company’s App of the Year awards.

Same design but with an "array of gorgeous new colors"

Apple has officially announced the new iMac, equipping it with the M4 SoC and giving it access to Apple Intelligence. Of course, Apple did not bother to change the design, but it did give it a few connectivity updates, a new nano-texture glass option for the 24-inch 4.5K Retina screen, and a new 12MP front camera.

Europeans are far too intelligent to accept this

The Fruity Cargo Cult Apple is starting to release products with its over-hyped  “Apple Intelligence” features, but it looks like it will not be seen in Europe until the end of the year.

iPhone loses its shine

After years of talking up Apple’s iPhone, the Tame Apple Press is having to admit that the iPhone 16 is a dull product which needed to be a lot better.

Not so cutting edge, after all

While Tame Apple Press claims that the fruity cargo cult is at the cutting edge of AI development, its staff knows it is two years behind everyone else.

Mostly a spec bump

Apple, the fruity cargo cult, has just released a new iPad Mini with a faster A17 Pro chip that it claims supports Apple Intelligence.

Preorders weaker than predecessor

Enthusiasm over the new iPhone 16 series with a new shutter button and unclear Apple Intelligence (AI) strategy led to much lower iPhone 16 preorder numbers compared to the iPhone 15 generation. The numbers are lower in the EU as well as worldwide.