Conflict of interest

A federal judge owned Apple stock while presiding over a case brought against the tech giant by Nokia.

They have seen what life is like without Jobs' Mob

The fruity cargo cult also known as Apple has little chance of attracting Android users with its unlucky iPhone 13 model, according to a new SellCell survey. 

If it ever makes the market 

The Tame Apple Press became very moist over the weekend over rumours that the new iPhones were going to have the ability to connect to satellites.

Naysayers say nay

Although Apple is making some changes to its App Store policies and setting up a $100 million fund for small developers, critics say that the terms of a class-action settlement don't meaningfully loosen the company's grip on its digital marketplace.

Up $5 billion from 2020

Search engine outfit Google has been bribing paying the fruity cargo cult Apple to use its search engine by default in its iPhone, iPad, and Mac.

Already loosening up restrictions

Fruity cargo cult Apple seems to be panicking that a court will rule against its glorious app store business model and is trying to loosen things up.

Which only hurts its rivals

While the chip shortage is canning Apple’s rivals, the fruity cargo cult is laughing all the way to the bank, according to a new report from Wave7.

More embarrassment from the antitrust court case

While fruity cargo cult Apple was lecturing the world about user privacy it was secretly scanning iCloud Mail for kiddie porn without telling anyone.

Gotta be the best at everything

Fruity cargo cult Apple’s anti-fraud chief Eric Friedman admitted the company is the “greatest platform for distributing child porn”.

Well, it is software what do you expect?

The fruity cargo cult Apple has created a major headache for fanboys with a small update.