News - subcat

Apple thinks annoying teens will get them to switch from Android
Published in News


How to make your users even more annoying by turning them into bullies

Fruity cargo cult Apple thinks that its colour coding of SMS messages will force teens to switch from Android to Apple.

Apple can't get sensors to go on watch
Published in News
Monday, 10 January 2022 12:57

Apple can't get sensors to go on watch


Blood Pressure and glycose testing were vapourware 

The Tame Apple Press has been claiming that Apple’s watch will soon be able to measure the wearer’s glucose levels in a noninvasive manner and check their blood pressure.

Tim Cook makes 1,447 times more than average Apple employee
Published in News


Nearly $100 million a year

Apple boss Tim Cook's pay in 2021 was 1,447 times that of the average employee at the tech giant, thanks mostly to stock awards that helped him earn a total of nearly $100 million.

Apple processor boss escapes to Intel
Published in PC Hardware
Friday, 07 January 2022 13:37

Apple processor boss escapes to Intel


After eight years

Apple Silicon leader and T2 security processor developer Jeff Wilcox has left Apple to rejoin Intel and oversee architecture for all Intel System-on-a-Chip (SoC) designs.

Google pays Apple to stay out of search
Published in News
Wednesday, 05 January 2022 11:39

Google pays Apple to stay out of search


Class action calls for both companies to be broken up

A class-action lawsuit has been filed in California against Google, Apple and the CEOs of both tech giants for allegedly violating antitrust laws.

Apple’s HomeKit vulnerable
Published in News
Tuesday, 04 January 2022 12:31

Apple’s HomeKit vulnerable


Hackers can take over your home

The software genii at the fruity cargo-cult Apple have penned some natty code which allows a hacker to take a fanboy’s “smart” home.

Samsung says it is gunning for Apple
Published in News
Tuesday, 04 January 2022 12:28

Samsung says it is gunning for Apple


Easy Tiger

The Tame Apple Press had a heart attack today when Samsung revealed that it was gunning for Apple in a new Tiger strategy.

Indians investigate Apple’s business practices
Published in News


Going down a black hole of despair

The Tame Apple press is doing its best to spin a story about India’s antitrust watchdog ordering an investigation into Apple’s business practices.

Apple’s AirTag is a stalker’s weapon of choice
Published in News


Just as well Apple fanboys are not pervs

Fears that Apple’s AirTag is being used to stalk women that Apple fanboys might have taken a shine too are proving true.

Apple realises that Foxconn’s treatment of women is bad PR
Published in News


Puts company on probation 

Fruity cargo cult Apple has realised that Foxconn’s poor treatment of women workers in its Indian plant is doing the same sort of PR damage it saw when there were similar problems in China.