Jobs’ Mob scrambles to play catch-up

The Tame Apple Press is reporting a rumour that Apple will have a new version of Siri out of the box to match the large language models that its rivals have had for ages—there is just one snag.

Two zero-day holes

The fruity cargo cult, Apple has stunned its user fanbase by admitting that the software it touts as more secure than Microsoft has two zero-day security flaws.

Only taken a decade

Fruity cargo cult Apple might have  finally fixed a problem with Siri which it has known about since  September 17, 2014. 

Needs to off-set heavy losses

The fruity cargo cult Apple, which has no experience in the telly business, is finding that its Apple TV+ streaming service is not doing as well as it thought.

AI Growth Projections

Taiwanese tech giant Foxconn has reported a forecast-topping net profit for the third quarter and anticipates robust future growth in demand for artificial intelligence (AI) servers.

Violating anti-geoblocking rules

The fruity-cargo cult Apple is again finding itself in trouble with the European Union over its geo-blocking antics.

Tame Apple Press refuses to admit it made a mistake and say nevermore

The fruity cargo cult Apple has pulled the plug on producing its Vision Pro, its virtual reality (VR) headset.

The iPhone lowered the standards of the world

The fruity cargo cult Apple might have caused English standards to drop down the toilet, according to Rita El Khoury from Android Authority.

iOS 18 refuses to help police with their inquiries.

Codewriters for the fruity cargo cult Apple, who have previously been unable to write a program which can shift to summer time, have come up with a way of shutting out cops from iPhones.

New chips can't handle more than 24-inch Model 

The fruity cargo cult Apple is ignoring the cries and wails of those in the content industry who want a larger iMac screen, like they had when Apple ran with Intel inside.