Tame Apple Press in shock

The Tame Apple Press spent Friday night in the pub drowning its collective sorrows as it was announced that Nvidia has overtaken Apple as the world's most valuable company.

We did tell you so

When we warned readers that Apple should not be trusted with their finances how they laughed, after all why wouldn’t a multinational company with a history of overpricing is products and extorting developers be trusted to run its Apple Pay scheme?

HarmonyOS NEXT launched

Huawei formally launched its home-brewed operating system, HarmonyOS NEXT, and freed itself from the Android ecosystem.

37Signals gets off its cloud

The outfit, which publicly shames big-name vendors when it stops being their customers, has focused on Amazon’s cloud operations.

iPhone loses its shine

After years of talking up Apple’s iPhone, the Tame Apple Press is having to admit that the iPhone 16 is a dull product which needed to be a lot better.

Not so cutting edge, after all

While Tame Apple Press claims that the fruity cargo cult is at the cutting edge of AI development, its staff knows it is two years behind everyone else.

Cook calls him to make him promise to protect Apple's lunch money

Former US president Donald Trump claims that Apple CEO Tim Cook called him to get the EU to stop picking on the poor little cargo cult.

Mostly a spec bump

Apple, the fruity cargo cult, has just released a new iPad Mini with a faster A17 Pro chip that it claims supports Apple Intelligence.

New apps have slowed further

Apple’s Vision Pro is struggling to attract significant software makers to develop apps for its overpriced, poorly designed chocolate teapot.

Cutting the shelf life of security certificates

The fruity cargo cult Apple has made systems administrators unfortunate enough to work on its software furious with a cunning plan to drastically cut the lifespan of SSL/TLS security certificates from 398 days to just 45 days by 2027.