Musk pins hopes on SMEs
Please give me all your money
After losing key advertisers like Apple, IBM and Disney with his superior management skills, Elon [look at me] Musk is trying to interest small to medium-sized businesses to advertise in his social notworking business X.
Police warn fanboys about new iPhone "feature"
Allows too much data to be shared
US coppers are warning iPhone users to be cautious following a new update which comes with a default setting which allows stalkers and pedophiles to uplift all a phone's data.
Apple kneed in the Middle Kingdom
No one wants the new iPhone
The fruity cargo cult Apple is having a bad time in China as punters no longer want an expensive slice of the American dream.
Tim Cook thinks people use smartphones too much
They wear out you know
Popular beat combo singer Dua Lipa had a “revealing” interview with Apple CEO Tim Cook in which he revealed that he thought that people were using their smartphones too much.
Apple begins production of OLED panels
Ready for the new iPad Pro
The dark satanic rumour mill has manufactured a hell on earth yarn which claims that the fruity cargo cult Apple is ready to begin production of OLED displays for its next-gen iPad Pro in February 2024.
Samsung beats Apple to AI
Tame Apple Press recoils in horror
The Tame Apple Press is shocked after Samsung humiliated their favourite tech company by introducing a new generative AI model long before Jobs’ Mob could claim to have invented it.
Washington DC helps Apple and stalkers
You need an iPhone to defend against car thieves
Washington D.C. plans to give residents Apple AirTags to help officers track down stolen vehicles.
California taking on Apple over tax deals
Cupertino sweeteners might cause diabetes
The California Department of Tax and Fee Administration (CDTFA) is retrospectively changing Apple’s arrangement with Cupertino because it is too good for Jobs’ Mob.
Apple called Android a tracking device
Ironic don’t cha think
The outfit which is currently being sued for supplying stalkers with tracking devices, Apple told a court that Android was a great big tracking device.
Apple’s benchmarks disappoint
Slight improvements but it nothing to do with the design
While the Tame Apple Press is telling the world+dog that Apple's new M3 processors will cure cancer the Geekbench 6 benchmark tells a slightly different story.