SiFive hires big core engineer
Published in News
Monday, 16 December 2024 20:54

SiFive hires big core engineer


Andre Seznec, a star of branch prediction

After decades of dominance of X86 in the big core area, Arm cores from Arm, Apple, and now Qualcomm are making a big entrance to the market. As an alternative, it looks like SiFive, a leader in high-performance RISC-V cores is building a big core. It ought to be the highest performance Risc V core and a star engineer Andre Seznec has been hired as a Fellow to help out. Andre Seznec, a prominent figure with a branch prediction, has joined the company to help build the new core.

Apple helps Putin censor his people
Published in Mobiles
Thursday, 12 December 2024 12:02

Apple helps Putin censor his people


Takes down VPNs

The fruity cargo cult Apple has been collaborating with Russian strongman Tsar Vlad Putin to keep his people in the dark by censoring VPNs in its App Store.

Apple gets a breather in Brazil
Published in News
Friday, 06 December 2024 10:16

Apple gets a breather in Brazil


Court gives it more time to get its act together

Fruity cargo cult Apple has been given more time to sort out its anti-trust antics in Brazil.

Apple spies on minions via iCloud accounts
Published in News
Tuesday, 03 December 2024 10:04

Apple spies on minions via iCloud accounts


Employee sues over prison conditions

An Apple employee has filed a new lawsuit, accusing the fruity cargo cult of spying on its workers through their iCloud accounts and non-work devices.

Apple hardware geniuses reversed the capacitor
Published in News
Tuesday, 03 December 2024 09:41

Apple hardware geniuses reversed the capacitor


Jobs’ Mob loved the smell of ozone in the morning

Engineers at the fruity cargo cult Apple were so clever that they installed the capacitors upside-down, but the Tame Apple Press did not notice.

TSMC ahead with its 2nm production
Published in News
Monday, 02 December 2024 11:30

TSMC ahead with its 2nm production


Installed six months early

TSMC’s flashy new 2nm fab in Kaohsiung has just hit a massive milestone with an equipment installation ceremony – six months early.

Apple gear easier for coppers to knock over than Android
Published in Mobiles


Graykey struggles with Android

The Tame Apple Press is somewhat shocked to discover that Graykey, a forensic tool used by coppers to unlock modern smartphones, does really well against their favourite shiny gadgets.

Chang claims Cook had a gutsful of Intel
Published in News
Monday, 02 December 2024 09:34

Chang claims Cook had a gutsful of Intel


Complained to Chang

The supreme pooh bah of the fruity cargo cult Apple Tim Cook didn't mince words when discussing Intel's contract manufacturing division with TSMC founder Dr. Morris Chang (pictured).

Cheeky thief mocks Apple’s security
Published in News
Monday, 02 December 2024 09:05

Cheeky thief mocks Apple’s security


Steals IDs and then picks up their gear

The fruity cargo cult Apple is facing a spate of thefts from someone who is mocking its security at all levels.

Tame Apple Press comes up with new Apple vapourware
Published in News


Apparently it is going to build a TV now

Desperate to create an illusion that Apple is on the cutting edge of something, the Tame Apple Press is claiming that Jobs’ Mob is working on a TV.