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iPhone 7 hisses at owners

by on19 September 2016


We hate you all

Apple hates its customers so much the iPhone 7 hisses at them, particularly if they insist on making it actually do something hard.

Early adopters of the iPhone 7 have noticed that when the workload on the chip gets a bit high the phone starts to let out a hiss. Apparently it appears that the iPhone 7 knows its owners were stupid enough to pay over the odds for a model which was a year out of date with a slightly better chip and it hates them as much as it hates itself for being that cruddy phone.

Fans initially thought that it was just a feature where Apple warns you that the chip is working a bit hard and that you should close a few windows. However, it turns out that the hissing is likely to be a coil whine or similar electromagnetic effects. Some GPUs also have a problem with this sort of thing.

Apple is saying nothing about the problem but it has offered replacements for those who have complained. The Tame Apple press is doing its best to spin Apple out of trouble again. It claims that the hissing only affects a small number of people. After all, most iPhone 7s love their owners and would never hiss at them.

Personally we are looking forward to the day when iPhones don’t just hiss at fanboys, they also bite them and pump a couple of gallons of neurotoxin into their blood stream.

Last modified on 19 September 2016
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