For those outside Blighty who have never heard of Noel Edmonds, count yourself lucky. There once was a time when he was never off British television, which was one of the reasons I never watched.  

He had a creative genius on a par with Steve Jobs. His inventions extended to a large fat creature called Mr Blobby which used to fall on people and beat them up and yet still conspired to be more innovative than the iPad.

Edmonds claims that the world is suffering from electronic smog which is caused by the Wi-Fi and all of the systems that we are introducing into our lives. These are destroying our own natural electro-magnetic fields.

Edmonds is apparently a Buddhist with some jolly odd views. He thinks that to be happy you need to think of yourself as a container of energy.

There is a universal energy, Edmonds claimed, which "embraces" us. "When you appreciate this, life becomes a lot more exciting."

"You don't live life, life lives you. There isn't such a thing as death, it's just departure. You cannot die. It's been known for a very long time."

Well Edmonds has never been far from British screens.  He said that this energy leaves your container but it has to go somewhere. You cannot destroy energy. My energy will return to where it came from – part of a massive, incomprehensible universal web of energy.

So this is where electronic smog comes in. It stuffs up your life.

"We're surrounded by electro mist, fog and smog. We're covering ourselves in the wrong sorts of electro-magnetism, These idiot politicians who talk about climate change, for goodness' sake, do they really think little us can do anything about it. No, of course not."

So how did he avoid all this problems, given that his shows are still churning out electronic smog of their own?

Edmonds says he remains healthy through a £2,000 device called an EMPpad, which purports to be based on NASA research.

It removes pain and reduces stress and people tell him he does not look 66. We were surprised too, we thought he had died.  But to be fair he still looks like the same person we wanted to punch on the show "Deal or no deal" in the 1990s.

"I use my EMPpad eight minutes a day – it has changed my life because it recalibrates all the blood cells and readjusts the electro-magnetism in your body. Think of a yoga mat, connected to a computer – it provides you with pulsed electro-magnetism."

Needless to say Edmonds is generating a ton of new electronic smog with a new radio show called "positively happy."